That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
