I wish I could punch you in the face.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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