So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
