Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
