And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
