I hope mine doesn't look like that
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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