Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
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