his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
