is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
