Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize