why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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