I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
