I CAN MOONWALK!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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