i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize
