If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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