I wanna bring you to show and tell
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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