Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
