You're my little dorito
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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