I showed him my bush... on skype.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
