do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
