Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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