If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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