Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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