i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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