I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
