walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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