My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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