In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just got carded by a ten year old.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
