I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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