handjob tips. give me some.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize