dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
