Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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