I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
