Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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