You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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