Hey man sorry I got all grabby
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
