im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
