dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
