are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We got so high we made milksteak
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize