Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
this just has baby written all over it
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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