i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
