I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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