He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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