Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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