I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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