Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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