i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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