Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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