He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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