They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
