When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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