jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
