Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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