Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize