I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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