What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
