Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
