He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
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lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
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He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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