i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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